Chocolate Quiche

So I decided this will be a recipe blog for a while. If my primary interest is food, then that's probably what I should write about.

The other day Whit and I made brownies but instead of using oil and eggs, we used applesauce to replace the oil (but then added a splash of oil anyway), and 2 egg whites for each egg. They turned out really good, but kind of spongy.

I was a little nervous to bring them into the office but I told people not to expect brownies... and they kind of liked them, or at least that's what they said. Brad said they were kind of like chocolate quiche, so there you go.

Secret Ingredient: 1/2 tsp mustard.

Dedicated to Whitney:

Mac and Cheese:
Heat 1 and 3/4 cup skim milk until it simmers, then add 3 tablespoons of flour, 1/2 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper, 1/2 tsp dijon mustard, and wait for the milk to thicken. Then add 1/2 cup of mexican blend cheese and 1/2 cup of italian blend cheese (or any shredded cheese). That's all that's in the cheese sauce, and then I add that to a box of wheat shell pasta. If you want cheesier mac and cheese, use less pasta.

Salad Dressing:
All I do is get Good Seasons Italian dressing mix and follow the proportions on the back with balsamic vinegar and grapeseed oil. Then I add a little bit of mustard :)

Smoothies that are so good:
ice cubes
vanilla greek yogurt
two servings of fruit (I usually use peaches and bananas or peaches and frozen berries)
packet of splenda
1/4 cup cranberry juice
no mustard.

A way better blog than mine!

http://1000awesomethings.com/

Life in St. Louis

The readership of my blog is an at all time high right now (meaning, 2 friends talked about it...) because of all of my banana bread recipe advertising, so I figured it might actually be a good time to start posting again. When I started this blog I promised myself that I'd never feel like I had to post with frequency or anything, because then it becomes a burden and not as fun.

So three weeks ago I moved to St. Louis and I live by myself. It's cool because I've made my apartment a shrine to the color blue, Wicked, and musical instruments.
My AV housemates might remember my reaction to the moment when I realized that I was living alone... serious panicking. It's pretty much a complete 180 from last year, and so I thought that since I was happy last year I'd be the opposite this year. For the first week, it was really tough. My gchat status one day was something about knowing why they call them the St. Louis Blues. Depressing! But I'm lucky to have awesome friends who were supportive from afar and- shout out to Whitney for being so amazingly kind and welcoming to me that first week and still now. But then, once life picked up a little bit, I've embraced this.

I actually like doing dishes now. They are my dishes, and they are going to sit in the sink until i do them. My mom and Ali Folker don't live here! So the 2 minutes it takes to put them in the dishwasher considerably improves the cleanliness of my apartment and I end up feeling really accomplished.

Other than my ability to be incessantly singing pretending-to-be-Elphaba and most recently Fantine without infringing on other people's rights, life is pretty much the same as before. Except there are a lot of thunderstorms which apparently I am scared of. One of my first nights I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up at 2:00AM to thunder and what sounded like a tornado siren but was actually wind whistling through the windows. Also, when I got home from work today my whole apartment smelled like gas, because I guess I never turned the stove all the way off... didn't exactly know what to do so I opened some windows and bolted. Definitely missed roommates in those moments.

What has been the biggest change since this move is the peace and quiet I can have at will. While it was great to hear Paul's stream of conscious in my family's little casita all summer, for years I have wanted to have some sort of place or way to start my day in prayer. Until now I had a hard time making that happen. Now, I've started to leave a little time in the morning to center myself before the day.

So I'm shaping up to really like life here. The people in my program are fantastic, and even though I feel like I'm in way over my head academically, they are all really supportive and don't ever make me feel bad that I have no idea what all the fancy words mean. I do 20 hours a week of graduate assistant work on a project I care a lot about, and I'm taking 3 classes. Other than class times, all my time is my own and I can choose when I work, which is a really good system for me. I wake up and I can't believe that I get to spend all day doing things I've been wanting to do for years. I wonder what I'll be saying during paper writing season.

Peace!

What to do with gross looking bananas:

I'm taking a short break from untangling in my neurons the terms liberal cosmopolitanism and deontological libertarianism to tell you about the fantastic creation I created whilst not all the things I was supposed to be doing.

My mom and my sister always used to make the best chocolate chip banana bread, but I am about a thousand miles away from that recipe. Also, I'm pretty sure banana bread like that is the reason pants don't fit anymore. So I invented the first recipe I have ever invented and here it is! I was so surprised that it didn't suck that I am blogging for the first time in months.

Mix together:
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 cup splenda
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup applesauce

Then add:
1 1/2 cups mashed bananas
3 egg whites and 1 whole egg
2 tsp vanilla extract

Then mix in:
2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

and.....
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Spray and flour a bread pan, cover everything lightly with tin foil, then bake it at 325 degrees for 30 minutes. Then take off the tin foil and bake it for 40 more minutes. Then, if you can (I couldn't) wait until it cools down a little bit to cut it. But whatever, really.

As far as reading goes, I am about 250 pages behind where I'd like to be right now, and I have been averaging between 10 and 20 pages/hr. This may be the last you ever hear of me until 2015 when I graduate.

Love,
Emily

...while our memories are singing of the blue and white

I can't believe that around this time a year ago, I was tucked away at my hidden desk in Falvey Memorial Library (second floor, northeast corner, second desk from the end) cramming for my molecular final and putting the final touches on my ethics papers. I was sad because Villanova was over, and I was trying to figure out how to say goodbye without having to really say goodbye... while trying to be excited about my upcoming year as a volunteer still living surrounded by those same Augustinian values I cherished so much.

I was told that my life was not over and that there are so many great things ahead for me. Obviously I could never reach my full potential by staying in college forever, and the idea was that I would outgrow Villanova.

Yesterday, I finished A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. There was a passage from the last chapter which I think speaks to what I'm trying to discuss far more eloquently and beautifully than I could express. It describes how the main character feels as she is saying goodbye to her old neighborhood before leaving for college...

"She went out and took a last long look at the shabby little library. She knew she would never see it again. Eyes changed after they looked at new things. If in the year to be, she were to come back, her new eyes might make everything seem different from the way she saw it now. The way is was now is the way she wanted to remember it.

No, she'd never come back to the old neighborhood."

I'm not yet sure how I feel about this, or if I agree with it.

About a month ago, I visited Villanova for the first time since leaving. Yes, I had been on campus a little bit during Augustinian Volunteer orientation and over winter break, but to me- in true Augustinian spirituality- Villanova isn't the buildings, but rather the people. I'd be committing a lie by omission if I didn't tell you that those two days while I was there were the best two days since I graduated. I got to do what I had always wanted to do... run into friends and talk for an hour... hang out with people I love all day on campus (a little piano interspersed) without having to worry about going to class or study.

Here's what's a little unsettling.

According to Betty Smith, a year later, shouldn't I have "new eyes" by now? Shouldn't I have noticed how I've matured and grown away from Villanova? One of the first things a person I consider to be one of my best mentors asked me was what I noticed since I was back on campus. I brushed off the question as if it were frivolous, but in hindsight I realize that he was probably trying to get me to acknowledge that I had changed, or that Villanova just didn't seem that great anymore. This could mean one of two things... 1) I haven't changed. 2) Villanova just is that great. I'll take the latter, given that I KNOW I've changed this year. How could I not have?

Anyway, my ethos lately (which is fitting for my nomadic lifestyle) has been that I should trust that I'm going to be happy wherever I am. Even if it's not how I thought it would work out... though these days it is kind of working out. But it's not only that I'm going to be happy wherever I am, it's that I'm going to adopt that place as my home and as the place I love and would never want to leave despite knowing I will. (Again, nomad.) I've definitely have moments where I felt that this year in San Diego, but it's not as consistent as it was for the four years I spent at Villanova.

Therein lies the problem... Amazing things have happened to me this year. I've grown so much, gotten close to new people, and have discovered things I never thought I would love so much (i.e. Hogar Infantil La Gloria, frozen yogurt, SAINTS, ChrisAliAnneKatieMikeDanMike, etc.). At this point I'm wondering why I haven't fallen so in love with my life here as I have for places before. Next year when I'm in St. Louis, will that be my new life? Or.. how long am I going keep missing Villanova? (Oh yeah! I'm going to St. Louis University next year... I lied when I said I'd be at JHU. Changed my mind. Another story for another post.)

Something important I realized while I was visiting Villanova, though, is that that school will never be the same once those people that make it what it is for me aren't there anymore. Like I said earlier, it's the people that make Villanova Villanova for me. Yes, Bryan will be there for one more year. The Augustinians I know will be there for a while, same with some of the faculty. But the overwhelming majority of people at Villanova who I am close to are seniors who are graduating. Over the years, I'll know fewer and fewer people. The already faceless altos will become more and more faceless. My visit a month ago was perfect, and I knew it was the last time I was going to be able to have that same experience of having that same Villanova community I knew in my four years there.

With a little more thought... I really do identify with this passage from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but just not in the most obvious way. The perfect memory I want to preserve and always think about when I remember my alma mater wasn't just the way I saw Villanova when I graduated- though at that time, I couldn't have loved it more. The way I saw Villanova last month was almost just as awesome. Yes I have different eyes, but they aren't the new eyes I'll have when I see Villanova once the people aren't the same anymore.

Before my mom came to pick me up for our trip to visit Johns Hopkins, I sat in my Pastoral Music chair and took one last long look at St. Thomas of Villanova Chapel from the perspective from which I experienced it. I might never see Villanova again. I'll have changed even more next year at a new school and when I visit Villanova again, I might remember a whole different place that wasn't the place I experienced. The way it was last month and the last four years is the way I want to remember it for the rest of my life.

But unlike Francie in The Tree Grows in Brooklyn, I will go back. Actually, even though I know this too will probably change in the future, my current career objective is to teach there one day. I think it's all about identifying the shifting relationship I have with that school and realizing that while it's a place I love a lot, there are probably going to be dozens of places in my future with the same significance.

With a prayer for Villanova and a sweet amen,
Emily

Don't Stop Believin'

The Augustinian Volunteers have a blog (osavol.org/blog) that every volunteer writes for at some point during the year. This week it's me! Here's my post about my greatest joy in working at SAINTS.

"What I appreciate the most about being the Campus Minister at St. Augustine High School is that I have the opportunity to affect 700 young men who are at a very impressionable point in their lives. The students at SAINTS all have the potential to mature into men committed to their Christian faith and to using the gifts they have cultivated at SAINTS to turn around and give back to their communities in service. The greatest joy in my work this year as a volunteer has been having the chance to help inspire the realization of their potential - and for some of them - witnessing times when they surprise themselves by their abilities and truly believe in themselves.

“Mass Band” is simultaneously my most taxing responsibility and most rewarding. The group plays at weekly Mass, but we have very limited practice time. We’re not always my idea of prepared at 8AM on Wednesday mornings when the liturgy starts, but it always seems to work out and the students succeed amazingly, whether they think they can or not. I watch students become confident in their ability as musicians as they play beautiful guitar solos, and volunteer to sing the psalm by themselves. Being present for these moments is such a joy for me.

Kairos retreats are our office’s biggest project of the year. They require quite a bit of work from a faculty planning perspective, but they really happen because of the six student leaders on each retreat. Each leader gives a long talk that requires them to think critically about themselves and their struggles. One of my jobs is to start with the leaders at the beginning of their talk writing process and to work with them as they develop their stories and the message of their talk. It takes a lot of courage to give a talk on Kairos, so when it finally comes to the point when they’re dressed up on the retreats speaking to their peers, I’m always really proud of them for their accomplishment.

In addition to my work at Saints, I tutor at St. Patrick’s School, where Katie and Anne teach P.E. One of my students is a 2nd grader who I’ve been working with since September. All year he’s struggled with focus, and tutoring requires focus. He does not like tutoring. When we go to find him to start the session, he pretends to be either a 1st or 3rd grader of a similar, rhyming name. It’s hysterical and we love it, but when it comes down to it, it’s really important that somehow he learns how to draw in his attention. I decided to try letting him play “Lost in Migration”, an educational computer game that could help improve his attention skills. It gives him something to look forward to at the end of alphabetizing spelling words and writing them over and over. The game is simply five birds in formation in the air facing one direction, except sometimes the middle bird is flying an opposite way. The point of the game is to hit the arrow key to match the direction of the middle bird. He got really into it and I was just about as excited as he was when he scored 740 first and then 920 on his second try. He’s up in the 1200s now, and the pride and joy he takes from succeeding and breaking records is definitely shared with me.

In my jobs this year, I have the chance to see my students excel quite often and I feel really lucky that I get to be a part of those moments, and even sometimes a factor in their achievements. I’ll miss being a part of their lives at the end of the year, but hopefully the faith I have in them will resonate and transform to strengthen their belief in themselves, and they will continue to have moments of self-actualization and accomplishment."